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So yesterday was Bay to Breakers 2008. I had such an awesome time, I thought I’d give everyone the play-by-play.

Sun, May 18 (the following timetable is approximate, due to the extraordinary amount of alcohol consumed and the subsequent inability of remembrance of certain details)

5:00am: I go to sleep after working at the bar all night. Had several naps on Sat. night before work so that I would not be a complete zombie for B2B.

7am: I wake up after 2 hours of sleep. Drink very large cup of coffee and get my costume on (roller disco for those who haven’t been keeping up on my posts) and ready to go. Drink another cup of coffee. Do my makeup very 70’s-esque with bright blue eyeshadow and frosted lipstick. Drink more coffee.

8am: Our friends show up for the pre-B2B breakfast at mine and Jenny’s place (they were told to be here at 7:30am, but whatever). We serve bagels from House of Bagels around the corner and fruit salad, with mimosas and tequila shots. I drink some vodka and red bull as well, as you can tell by the following picture of my brother and I:

9am: We set off for Golden Gate Park on our roller skates. Progress is slow and shaky.

11am: We finally make it the 4 blocks to Golden Gate Park (just kidding, it was more like 9:20 when we got there). We see a lot of the more serious runners and walkers (i.e. people still sober and not in costumes). We walk/skate backward along the route to get to the end of the crowd where all of “our people” were.

9:25am: We see the first of the creative costumes. I got a kick out of these “swimmers” and their inflatable portable pools:

9:30am: We see the first of the naked people. It always makes me feel a little curious as to what goes through these peoples’ minds when they decide to do this in the buff. They’re always by themselves too….weird. I like the crown on this dude, like he’s dubbed himself king of the naked people:

9:35am: A school of jellyfish float by, and I like their costumes. Simple idea, but done really well. The tie-dye adds a cool San Francisco touch:

9:45am: I discover a previously undiscovered and unusual talent of mine: I am a pretty darn good hula hooper (while on roller skates and semi-intoxicated to boot). That’s my brother’s very 70’s friend Patrick hooping along with me.

10am: We are thrilled to come upon a bandstand with a cool band playing music for the various walkers and runners. Of course we have to stop and get our boogie on:

10:10am: My brother Jason and friend Alison can’t resist a photo op with this very naked, very “peace-ful” naked dude who is enjoying the music along with us:

10:20am: The Berkeley contingent brings along their mascot. Props to the dude in the bear costume.

10:25am: We pass by dudes dressed up like different wildlife creatures. I have to admire any guy who will fearlessly don spandex for a good cause. The deer is in the front, while the panda is on the left just out of frame, and posing with my brother. Love the bamboo sprig in the panda’s mouth, and the cell phone/camera bulge in the deer’s tights:

10:27am: I pose with this dude purely for the fact that he has an awesome Fu-Manchu. If it looks like I’m doing an obscene gesture, it’s totally a coincidence and only realized that when going through the pictures later:

10:30am: We run across the gang from sesame street on a float near the Panhandle of Golden Gate Park. If I were younger I think I might have been scarred for life by seeing Big Bird and The Chef drinking out of a keg. The Chef actually ran up to my pal Alison at some point later and threw flour on her and yelled, “Borga borga borga!!” I don’t think Alison ever fully recovered.

10:35am: As always there are a few pirates in the crowd. I thought these guys’ float is the most impressive. This isn’t a very good picture, but it’s a full-on pirate ship:

10:40am: A giant bounce-house on wheels goes by, and I am momentarily tempted to enter. After realizing that a) I’m on rollerskates, and b) there are some pretty scary-looking people in the bounce-house, I decide against it.

10:45am: One of the many rolling bars passes by:

11:00am: Alison meets Ace and Gary from the Ambiguously Gay Duo (for you non-SNL fans, don’t worry about it), and then poses with a guy dressed up as someone who was trampled by the crowd:

11:15am: My roommate Jenny makes friends with the two known as the “Hairy Ballers”. If you can’t tell from the picture why they’re called that, I’m not going to try to explain it to you (hint: look down):

11:30am: We are thrilled to find another 70’s troupe, complete with a disco ball, so we have to do an impromptu disco dance with them. They aren’t on skates though, so we win the disco dance-off:

11:55am: Alison meets a pretty peacock, who I have to give props to for an awesome costume:

12:00pm: As the party winds up and my camera battery winds down, we all manage to pose for one last group photo:


And thus one more year of Bay to Breakers comes to an end. Overall, I was a little disappointed in the creativity of other peoples’ costumes–it seemed like people went all out last year and not so much this year. But everyone loved our costumes, and we all had a ball (a disco ball, get it?), so that’s what really matters. Now to decide what we’re going to be next year…

OK, Bay to Breakers is finally here!  (Well, on Sunday.  But when you’ve been looking forward to it for the past year, a few days is nothing).  My pals and I finally decided on costumes and I mostly have gotten it all together.  The theme has changed from roller derby to roller disco (not an earth-shattering change, but this theme we decided is more fun. Apparently more fun=more sequins).  Here’s a rundown of what I have:

1.  Burgundy short-shorts with white piping from American Apparel

2.  Sequined gold cropped tube-top purchased at Aardvark’s on Haight Street

3.  Knee-high yellow and burgundy striped athletic socks from American Apparel

4.  Vintage red-white-and-blue roller skates purchased on eBay

5.  White Elton John-esque sunglasses from Evangeline’s in Sacramento

6.  Gold multi-strand necklace from So Good on Haight Street

7.  Black shiny track jacket with yellow stripes bought at Wasteland on Haight Street

I’m still thinking about getting some striped terrycloth wristbands at American Apparel and I’m planning on doing my makeup with bright powder blue eyeshadow and frosted lip gloss, with lots and lots of bronzer.  My hair I’m still figuring out–I was looking for a Farrah Fawcett-like wig, because short hair doesn’t lend itself well to lots of experimental hairstyles, but the wigs I’ve found were sort of sub-par.  And my friend Alison is already wearing an afro wig, so I don’t really want to do the same thing.  Last night my roommate Jenny styled my hair in a really cool feathered-back style that kind of works, so I’ll probably go with that.  

I’m so excited!  I will be sure to post lots of pictures of all the debauchery.  And this year I’ll be sure not to drink so much Jameson so that I might actually remember everything to write about it.

One of the most fun things I’ve ever done in this city is an annual event called Bay to Breakers. For those who don’t know, it’s a race in SF from the Bay Bridge to the beach, hence, Bay to Breakers. There are real athletes who participate in the race seriously and actually run, but my friends and I like to do the party route and dress up in costumes and drink with all the other lazy, crazy, (fun loving) people.

Last year we all went as figure skaters a la Blades of Glory (hilarious!). This is my brother, in the costume that I picked out for him (he was such a good sport):

Because the race was on pavement and not ice, we wore roller skates which all the other participants found to be both clever and hysterical. I do have to say though, the roller skates lost their clever edge once we started doing this:

Which led to this:

Bay to Breakers is just so much fun because it’s entirely grown ups acting like idiots and having a good time doing it. My old roommate, who is a nurse and a little bit of a uptight person, was actually doing kegstands out of a rolling shopping cart. Lots of other people dress up, some just go naked (not attractive people, only the ones who sag in places they shouldn’t). Some of my other favorite costumes were the dudes dressed up as the Beatles with a Yellow Submarine Float:

Guys dressed up like MySpace pages:

And this, which I can’t even explain:

Because the skates were such a hit last year, this year we decided to revive the idea (and perhaps consume a little less Jameson in the process). So hence the idea for 1970’s Roller Derby Girls came into fruition. This weekend my roommate Jenny and I tried to look for costume ideas. We started off at Forever 21 downtown where I had seen these disgustingly ’70s terrycloth jumpsuits with short-shorts. Who wears short-shorts? Not I, as I found out after trying on the hideous jumpsuit. But I did manage to find a great raglan-sleeve tee with a big smiley face on the back and the saying, “Come on get happy” on the front.

Next, on to Haight Street where there is an American Apparel store that has sporty ’70’s style shorts with piping down the sides (not terrycloth and not as short as the Forever 21 jumpsuit shorts).

However, the line to try on the garments was huge (don’t go to Haight on a nice Saturday afternoon in SF) and I didn’t really feel like facing another vision of myself in shorts, so Jen and I left without trying them on. So, I am still on the lookout for the perfect Rollergirl incarnation. I have the roller skates in the mail (thanks Ebay!) and I was going to wear some great striped knee-high athletic socks, so I have until May 18 to find a pair of short-shorts that will actually look semi-decent on me.

Wish me luck.